I didn’t much care since I wasn’t their real father, but my attorney advised me to ask the girls face to face. With the court appointed social worker present Karen and Kimmy told me they didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I know I just told you I didn’t much care, but apparently I did. It hurt big time when they rejected me. So I was starting all over again. I had nothing. On top of that I had monthly financial obligations hanging over me. The best I can compare it to is the student who has just graduated, but has a huge student loan to start paying back along with all the other expenses of life. Well, I lived like a starving student and I didn’t miss a payment. But every time I’d get a little bit ahead, Claire would haul me back into court and demand more. It was like she knew when I took a shit and how much toilet paper I used. I began to think she was having me watched. My attorney suggested my hiring a private detective of my own but we both knew that was an unaffordable. I had nothing to contribute sinceI had never thought about boys like they did. That's when Jill mentionedthat her friend Roy told Ken, who told his sister who told her, thatSteven had a crush on me! There was nothing I could say, but I took a lotof teasing about it. It turned out that she was right.We practiced on those dances, and I got used to wearing one of thosefluffy dresses and having my boobs bouncing up and down. The word musthave spread within the dance class because everybody quit watching me soclosely, while at the same time, I began to figure out, just like theother girls, how to attract, or repel, advances from the boys. Flirtingseemed to come easy to girls, and while I always said that I had nointerest in boys, I found myself watching, as many of the kids began thetorturous journey of dating and becoming couples. Six of the girls in mydance class had boyfriends and Melanie was working hard on Jimmy. Thatleft me, and I was beginning to feel left out. As much as I wanted.
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